To rediscover this energy.

Irony is it???

I have come across many ironical things in my life, some have a deep routed connection, I wonder, did someone know about it so well for it to happen this way. Yes, I watch my life too close to recognize every minute change happening in it.

I am not going to mention the first ironical thing that happened in my life, as it is far too personal. Lemme pour my thoughts over the second one.

There had been situations where I had stood in the tip of a tall mountain, starring at distance, my feet almost leaving the edge. But I did not fall. The whole scene interchanged as if it was a stage from a play/ movie. From this scare, I learned to be grateful. Grateful for every single thing that happened. Impulsive acts done by people did not bother me. This screen that replaced the scary mountain top became more colorful day by day. I was in a place which I would call Home away from home. I had felt the walls speak, even in the strangest moments of anonymity and sobriety I felt a sense of familiarity around. It was a surprise to discover this Home away from Home which I live now, was built when I was born. The years I was growing up, I had always wondered what awaits me next and when I reach there, it is as if I already knew I would be here one day, & this is ‘that’ day. Strangely true. I am grateful for that unknown energy that bought me here, today, to rediscover the connection and to feel grateful about it. Is it not intriguing to think, the day you were born and you were growing up, miles and miles away something else was happening, the fruit of which you get to know years later. Does it not surprise you to realize, when you were fighting and getting distressed for something meaningless, something else was happening somewhere parallel and you get to be a part of it and relive the same moments in a different way. May be some of you can relate to what I sound here and may be some of you already frown upon me for I make no sense whatsoever.

To wind up, I feel grateful to this energy which bought me to where I stand today and to shower upon the immense opportunities which I get.

See-Saw-Seen!!!

I did not know what to think… i did not know what was happening around… my thought process frozen… because at the same time my heart took extremely happy things and unbearably heavy things.

It was the day i went to my office to quit. And, that was not because i had a better job or that i was tired of the place. I loved my office more than most of the priority things and it ranked second or third in my ‘i like’ places. But, i was getting married and moving in with my husband. Meeting my colleagues, their warmth to me, their smiles, their wishes everything eluded me in such a feeling that i never had before, i had just realized they all love me so much and are in pain to see me leave them. I was brave there. Chit chatting in fun and savouring every moment to its fullest ecstatcy and gratitude. I had expected to cry over there, instead it was all happy and fun moments. The moment i left the place, bidding the good bye, with light drizzle outside, the fact was sinking in. I was leaving m favorite work place. I collected my office chappal. My friend had bought it for me from mynthra (apparently working most of the day our shopping place was mynthra and our hang out place was quikr) hence it was a little large size but my favourite chappal. My eyes did not fill in tears that blurred my vision as i got into my car but my heart felt heavy. It felt so heavy i could barely breath.

I reached home but could not bring myself to talk to anyone. I decided to sleep early to cover my thoughts. By morning everything ought to be normal, at least i had expected it to be. But i was greeted by a slight headache apparent to all that i had in my mind.

My hubby was busy the previous day. He had some major commitments and was unavailable. I could not tell him what i felt like. Good thing, he came in skype the second thing in the morning. After some normal routine talk, i could not believe what he had got, not for me, it was for us. Anything that is bought from the day one of our togetherness only goes to the common hotchpot. It was an iphone 5s gold. I am supposed to be happy. I was a gadget freak. I did not fancy shoes or dress much but used to follow gadgets and cars which with time had reduced drastically. This was a gold iphone my god and i should be jumping up and down my bed. Am i doing that?

Was i happy for this or am i still sad for quitting my office? Were i happy my hubby loves me lot or am i still worrisome i miss my colleagues who were with me for a major part of the days i lived before?  Was i excited to go into my new life that awaited me or was i still sad on the missing the orange low floor buses and the standing tea and the iron stairs and my featherlite chair?? Was my life getting better or was i thinking too much? It was a typical see-saw situation i faced and i did not know how to balance my heart.

Dreamer dreamer!!!

Day 1 – World cup!!!
It is a big day for two people, apparently whatever they are about to do is gonna change their life. Well, they are getting married.
The groom’s party arrive first. How they come, i am not updated; the point is they arrive on time. Then the bride’s party come, a little late. The function has started. But the aura is tensed as our venue is a bit funny. That forms the crux of our story. It is a big play ground (FYI sports freaks, you guys know how big the playground of a Football world cup appears). And, a match is scheduled in half an hour. Our wedding function has been launched. There is a vadhyar (the priest), pooja, filled thambalams (big copper plates) and what not!!! BECAUSE It is an Indian wedding. The couple are a south Indian Couple. Time tick tocks. It is 5 minutes to the match time. The tournament has been slowly getting filled and now it is fully packed. Ticket counters are clossed. Aerated drinks and pop corns have been supplied. Fans have painted their faces in funky colors. They seem restless but they wait. I do not recollect cheerleaders but our players have arrived. It is a match between Brazil and France. They have marched in their popular jersey, warming up, eager to go in action. Well, the bride has been sent in for a dress change. The dress is a koorapodavai/saree (a 9 meter long cloth that has to be wrapped in a particular south Indian fashion in order to get married). The entire population are witnessing the marriage (Do they get to eat a sumptuous lunch therafter, IRRELEVANT!!!). The players are waiting. The media is covering the function. The press is reporting live news. The BBC and ESPN people are worried. Time tick tocks. The bride has not arrived yet. The groom, the families are equally worried. Yet no one dares question because it is a south Indian wedding. Where is the bride???

Day 2 – Moonlit night, stranded in a treasure Island!!!
It had started as a weekend trip, a few friends, long time friends, with their wives and girlfriends and fiancé respectively. The Thar Mahindra zoomed into a forest. It is the first time they are going in there. Is it lake placid or the crocodile or the ware wolf, we do not know. The entire day was party and fun. But suddenly it is night. The jeep is in break down mode. Or may be have been chased, it is not clear. However it is a moonlit night and very much walk able. None of us seem to have a cell phone or a radio or a google map or a gps facility. So we aimlessly walk hoping one of us know where we are heading to. I wonder did one of the friends grab a giant crocodile egg from somewhere and is mama crocodile gonna chase us for her little baby egg?? Well, the story suddenly changes the purpose. It is like we walk at the last. We are holding hands. We are me and my fiancé. It is moon lit hence romantic. The romance hikes further. And, we agree to make out. We start the process but, before long we are spotted by few others in the group. Suddenly, the feel changes and it appears all the most embarrassing. What do we do???

Well, sorry readers, Dreams are CRAZY…you know that!!!!